literature

My Hairy, Hairy Back?

Deviation Actions

Same-side's avatar
By
Same-side
Published:
1.2K Views

Badge Awards

Literature Text

(Lights up on a modest kitchen.  MAN and WOMAN are standing, facing each other.)

MAN
Could your face be any more hideous?

WOMAN
Now, why do you have to start off like that?

MAN
Like what?

WOMAN
Don't you think you sound a bit like a jerky jerk-face from jerksville--population: jerk?

MAN
Do I?

WOMAN
What would you think of me if I asked you something like what you just asked me:  Could your face be any more hideous?

MAN
Uh...Could I get back to you?

WOMAN
Would you like to set up an appointment?  Say sometime next week?

MAN
No, don't you know that next week is the week I shave my hairy, hairy back?

WOMAN
Your back is so hairy it takes you a week to shave it?

MAN
Isn't everyone's?

WOMAN
Are you serious?

MAN
Yes, doesn't everyone have a back-shaving week? (beat) Are you saying that I'm the only one?

WOMAN
Have you ever heard anyone else talk about shaving their hairy, hairy backs?

MAN
Yeah, wasn't Mark saying something about it the other day?  Something about the skin on his back breaking out in those weird irritations?

WOMAN
Why do we have to talk about this?  Skin irritations?  Eck!  How about we talk about something more pleasant, like nosebleeds?  Or the national debt?

MAN
Please, can you not bring up the national debt?  You do know that stuff makes me want to grind glass shards between my toes and ram a garden gnome in my eyesocket?

WOMAN
O-M-W, me too!  Do you think we could be empathic or something?

MAN
"Or something?"  What do you mean by "or something?"

WOMAN
Why do you always have to ask such silly, silly questions?

MAN
I don't know.  Do you think it's possibly connected to my having such a hairy, hairy back?

WOMAN
Possibly.

MAN
(smiling) Dastardly!

WOMAN
This is why I love you.

MAN
Always and forever?

WOMAN
Ummm...

MAN
Always and forever, right?

WOMAN
Ummm...Wouldn't you like to have an invisible tangerine, darling?

MAN
In a little bit; have you seen my razor anywhere?

(Lights out.  END OF SKIT)
Another delightful skit between Man and Woman.

What is your favorite line, and why?

Least favorite, and suggestions for improvement?

(If you're interested in more MAN/WOMAN, go to [link])
© 2010 - 2024 Same-side
Comments8
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Little-Red-Hat's avatar
Little-Red-Hat
This line was my favourite, simply due to its silliness:

MAN
Yes, doesn't everyone have a back-shaving week? (beat) Are you saying that I'm the only one?

Did you keep the characters nameless out of artistic choice? If so, it works. It gives them a sort of "everyman" feel, but leaves enough mystery to make them more intriguing figures.